So far in this series, I’ve talked a lot about how to put God first, the roles of the Holy Spirit, and abiding in Christ, but there’s something else that’s equally important – the company you keep.
There’s a saying, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with“. Many people have quoted it, (though I think Jim Rohn first said it), and it’s something that’s actually taught in circles like business, marketing, and self-improvement.
But did you know that it’s actually a biblical principle that’s echoed throughout the entire bible?
From the very first book, in Genesis 12:1, when God called Abram (Abraham) out from the land of his people to go to a new land to create a new people, to the last, all the way to Revelation 18:4 when John hears the call of heaven for God’s people to separate themselves from the world to save those people from being caught up in judgement, the Lord has always been particular about believers separating themselves from influence of the world.
God is always protective of His own and He teaches us to not only separate ourselves, but blesses us when we do.
Psalm 1:1 – “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.“
Proverbs 13:20 – “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.“
2 Corinthians 6:17 – “Therefore, ‘Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.‘”
Ephesians 5:11 – “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.“
There are at least a dozen verses from Old Testament to New that not only instruct us to separate from the world, but be weary of it, because there will be scoffers and mockers, and worse, people who deliberately try to subvert our faith by sowing dissention and subtle lies, trying to twist meanings.
For example:
Matthew 7:15 – “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’’ clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” This is Jesus’ most clear warning about the hidden dangers of letting such people in.
Matthew 16:6 – “Be careful… Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” This is warning about false teaching and it spreads subtly but pervasively.
Acts 20:29-30 Paul soberingly warns the church that “Savage wolves will come in among you… Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.“
If you read 2 Peter with me yesterday, then you will remember 2 Peter 2:1-2 “There will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies … Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute.“
So, why does God give us so many warnings?
The answer goes back to the quote at the very beginning – “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with“.
At it’s heart, the warning is about influence. The people you spend the most time with will influence how you think and behave. You’ll eventually adopt their attitudes and their behaviors. You’ll be desensitized to the things they tolerate and surround themselves with.
It’s why your parents probably warned you about hanging with the wrong crowd… and if you’re a parent, why you probably warn your kids about the same thing.
God is a Father, and when we became saved, we became His adopted kids, (Galatians 4:5, Romans 8:15), so He’s doing the same with us – warning us about influence.
He’s telling us to don’t be like them, don’t think like them, don’t act like them, don’t mix with them.
And he’s warning us to be on the lookout for those who are deliberately trying to lead us astray.
Today’s scripture is the book of Jude. It’s a short book but a powerful one in which Jude, (James’ brother – yes, that James, also Jesus’ half-brother), writes in Jude 1:4 “For certain men have crept in among you unawares (unnoticed) – ungodly ones who were designated long ago for condemnation. They turn the grace of our God into a license for immorality, and they deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.“
His point is that they look like us, and talk like us, and dance like us, and sing and pray like us. They dress like us too, and know the bible well.
But they are not of us and if we don’t surround ourselves with fellow believers, then the world will swallow us whole and snuff out our faith, even having us believing lies.
So pick your circle very carefully. I highly suggest you pick four people, because the first person you choose should be Jesus, and you just abide in Him as often as possible.
In fact, if you go to Jesus first, and give Him the final say in everything you do, your life would be 1,000% better than if you consulted Him last, or not at all.
Today, I started the day late. Like, 2 hours late. I went to work where I was playing catch up all day, (still didn’t catch up), but I lost track of time and worked far later than expected.
That’s when it hit me that I didn’t have time to do everything. I had to work out, (I’m on a health journey), I had music lessons, (I’m learning guitar), I had Spanish lessons, (I’m learning a second language), I needed to water the garden, (no sprinklers so I have to do it by hand)…
And then? Ah! I didn’t set aside any extra time to spend with the Lord today. I didn’t read any today yet, I haven’t prayed as I should, and oh yeah! I still have to write a blog post.
I felt time slipping and it seemed like every time I looked at the clock it was like it was speeding up.
Welcome to life as a believer! lol. If anyone told you that all of your problems will go away, they lied.
In my faith walk I’ve found that life still happens, but you know what I’m not doing? I’m not stressing out, I’m not worrying, and I’m not anxious.
In fact, even though my day is hectic and I’ll be up late working and catching up, my day is actually easier because I’m not alone.
In yesterday’s post I talk about entering a relationship with God and I spent some time talking about the Holy Spirit, and His many roles.
I’ve found that my day goes by a lot easier because He’s with me, and I’m not stressing out about missing time with God because I’m always spending time with God.
A lot of believers tend to meet up with God on Sundays, or Wednesday nights, but the truth is that while those are great, it’s during the week that we need God the most.
A not-so-common term I learned years ago is shoebox living.
If you buy a new pair of shoes they come in a new box, right? Well, a lot of Christians tend to live out their faith like the pair of dress or designer shoes – they put it on and take it off for special occasions. They go to church on Sunday mornings, or the Wednesday night groups… maybe even the special church event on the odd day.
But in reality, we’re more like the shoebox. We have this new life inside of us and it’s shiny and new, but on the outside, we still have to live outside of church, and groups, and special events. We still have to get up and go to work, pay bills, put up with coworkers we don’t like – sit in traffic. Ugh!
So how do you live in the shoebox of life? It’s simple actually, and I’ve already hinted at it.
We’re supposed to abide in Christ. I’ll take the time to write these verses out.
John 15:4-5 – “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:7 – “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.“
1 John 2:28 – “And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming.“
1 John 4:13 – “By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.”
Galatians 5:25 – “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.“
To abide means that you continue in whatever it is; you keep doing it. You hang out there, you live there, you sit in it and you soak up the surrounding.
That’s how you’re supposed to live life as a believer.
What it means is, when you do go to church on Sundays, and Wednesdays, and the special meetings, it’s not to meet with Christ that week. You should already be with Him all week long.
Prayer, isn’t ritual. It’s meaningful, relational communication with God. So as you’re going about your day, you should be talking to God. Asking His opinion, seeking His input, meditating on the Word, giving Him praise, thanking Him…
In other words, you should be building a relationship with Him. And don’t be too surprised when you feel the Spirit moving and God starts working in your life.
Now, today’s scripture is 2 Peter.
When Peter wrote this letter, he knew he was going to die soon, and his main concern was that the church would forget the teachings of Jesus Christ and be led astray into false teachings.
He gave warnings about abiding in scripture and rejecting scripture, because even then, even while the disciples and apostles were still alive, there were those who were trying to discredit Paul, just because they didn’t like what he had to say, or couldn’t understand what he wrote.
If I were to pass on a lesson, it would be the same as I have been – stay in the Word. Abide in the Spirit.
Don’t let the only time you meet with God be like new shoes, but rather let it be like the shoebox.
When I first became a believer in Christ, (1992), I didn’t think much about things like spiritual maturity, or walking in the Spirit, or living by faith. I didn’t know what any of those things were. Al I knew at that point was that I was saved and I was going to heaven when I died, and that I should try to live a moral life.
That entailed reading my bible, going to church, praying, and generally being nice to others.
Nobody ever sat me down and said, “Dexter, now that you’re saved this is how a believer is supposed to live“. Nobody explained who God was beyond He made me and loves me and sent His Son to die for me – bible stories.
Nobody explained to me that when I believed I was indwelled with the Holy Spirit and because of that, I’m going to start to feel guilty about my sins. Nobody ever explained how to respond to conviction by the Holy Spirit either.
But the thing that, looking back, I wished people taught me was how to build a relationship with God. That would have been helpful and would have saved me years and years of backsliding and being a prodigal.
Before I get into the scripture that I read today, (1 Peter by the way), I wanted to take this opportunity to teach you what was never taught to me – how to enter a relationship with God.
Because, it’s the most important relationship you’ll ever have, and as the title says, it’s THE relationship for a lifetime, and all eternity.
The first step, of course, is to actually become a believer. If you’re not and would like to know more about that, click here now (opens in a new window).
Created by Tony Evans, it will answer many of the questions you may have about Jesus, as well as lead you into prayer and become a Christian, and I hope you take the time to at least learn about the faith from people of faith.
That said, when you first accept Christ, something powerful happens. A lot of things happen actually, (which goes beyond the scope of this post), but there is one thing in particular that’s important.
That is, you receive the Holy Spirit inside you, in what the bible calls your “inner man”, (See Ephesians 3:16, 2 Corinthians 4:16, and Romans 7:22).
Receiving the Holy Spirit is a very big deal, and He brings a lot with Him into your life, including spiritual gifts. And, He has many roles which will become evident in future posts and in my book. For now though, here are three of the roles in your life as a believer.
He is our helper – John 14:16 says He will be with us forever, John 14:26 says He will teach us all things and bring to memory all that Jesus said, and John 15:26 says He will testify of Jesus.
He intercedes for us – Romans 8:26 says He helps us in our weakness and intercedes for us.
He empowers us -Repeatedly, the bible says that Jesus was empowered by the Holy Spirit. Luke 4:1, Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit and led. Luke 4:14, He returned in the power of Holy Spirit. In Acts 10:38 God anointed Jesus with the Holy Spirit.
Over and over again, it’s made clear that the Holy Spirit empowers Jesus, and it is by the power of the Holy Spirit that He was able to live a sinless life and do miracles.
Now… what does any of this have to do with relationship with God?
It’s simple. When you first become a believer and receive the Holy Spirit, your entire relationship with God hinges on how you relate to and utilize the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit connects you to heaven and the heavenly kingdom, of which you are a citizen. Everything that the Holy Spirit did for Jesus Christ, He can do for you.
He translates your prayers, He brings peace, He empowers you, He comforts you, He teaches you, He guides you and leads you, and so much more. Your entire relationship with God is only possible because of the Holy Spirit, and as you just read, He will be with you forever.
So, if you want to have a meaningful relationship with God, you must learn to operate in the Spirit. Walk in the Spirit, pray in the Spirit, view the would through the spiritual lens.
But here’s the kicker – the Holy Spirit only operates when you’re in alignment with Jesus.
Meaning, you can’t just carry on with your old life like before because you’re not just living for yourself anymore, and you’re not alone – you have the Holy Spirit with you and in you.
His job is to help you with everything you need from the kingdom.
For example, when the Lord talks to you, it’s often through the Holy Spirit, or when you’re reading the bible, the Holy Spirit turns the words you’re reading into the living word and makes it applicable to your situation, and so much more.
I could write a book just about the Holy Spirit. There’s so much to teach, and it’s one of those things that many believers never hear about.
So, in lieu of this blog post turning into a book, let me leave you with this.
The best thing you can do once you become saved is to consciously be aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit, especially as you pray and read the bible.
Now, you’re still praying to the Father, in Jesus’ name, but it’s through the Holy Spirit; He is the one that facilitates the entire relationship.
That said, today I read 1 Peter.
Peter, like a lot of believers had a kind of slow start in his faith walk, and he stumbled a time or two, once or twice quite spectacularly, but once he found his footing and came fully into faith? Man he became a rockstar for the kingdom of God.
If you’re interested in learning about the goodness of God, and how you should live to the fullest in Christ, Peter is the man you want to read. Those are some hard-earned lessons and great wisdom.
In the recent weeks, spiritual maturity has been a recurring theme for me. It’s been part of sermons I’ve listened to, verses I’ve read, and a topic I’ve prayed about recently.
It’s been on my mind quite a bit, and I guess it’s because, even as I’m writing a layman’s book on discipleship, I’m not exactly happy with my own spiritual maturity.
For the past 7 years I’ve lived like a disciple and have made some incredible growth spiritually, to the point that many of my friends call me “advanced” in my faith. I guess they’re right in comparison, but there’s the thing.
I might be further along on my journey, but I’m no different than any of them. I still stumble from time to time, and I still face temptations like everyone else, and, to my shame, I’m not always successful in fleeing them.
In those times I have to pray, ask forgiveness, and repent too, and I know I’m maturing spiritually because the time between sins continue to increase. I go longer and longer without sinning, and my response time to sin, from when I sin and when I ask forgiveness and repent becomes shorter and shorter.
In fact, many of them are immediate.
And for most believers that’s enough, but it’s not for me. I want more of God and I want my faith to grow even more and more. If faith is like a mustard seed, then to me, I have a small sapling, and I want a tree that birds can nest in.
Right now I feel like I’m at a plateau and I’m just stuck. That’s what I’ve been dealing with lately in my faith walk, and what I’ve been praying about – and God answered me!
He said, “If faith comes by hearing the Word, how often are you listening?“
Of course, that’s Romans 10:17 – So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
You know, sometimes God has a way of giving you, “duh” answers, meaning you should have already known, and I should have because that’s one of the scripture verses that was on my list to memorize.
Upon receiving that answer I knew exactly what I needed to do – spend more time in the word daily.
And, because everyone needs accountability, I decided to write a blog post every day for the month of September reflecting on the day’s time in prayer and reading, and share any insights I receive, (that I feel isn’t specifically for me).
I say that because after 7 years living as a disciple, one thing that I’ve learned is that not everything the Lord reveals to you is for the world. Sometimes it’s just for you and your situation.
That said, this is what I did on day 1 of my 30 days of faith journey.
I read the book of James. It’s not a really big book, but James 1 and 2 have frequently come up in sermons I’ve been listening to so it was on my list to read.
Of course, when it comes to wanting to grow your faith, James is all about growing your faith and living in line with Jesus Christ. Chapter 1 is about the character of a person of faith that faith should produce results.
Chapter 2 is about partiality, (treating others differently based on worldly criteria, and our works proving faith. Chapter 3 is about self control, especially of the tongue, and seeking and operating in wisdom.
Chapter 4 is about the things we should avoid in this life as far as behavior. And Chapter 5 is about stewardship and how we manage the things that God entrusts to us.
All in all, if you want to grow in faith, the book of James is one of the better books to teach you how to live out your faith, and it was a good start for me.
Praise. Once you get into the Word and it really gets down in you, don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming or singing. I found myself doing that and I thought that a good way for me to say focused on the Lord, (abide in Christ, according to Romans 8:1 and 2 Corinthians 5:17) was to just listen to Christian music.
But not any Christian music. It had to be biblically sound and scripturally focused. It was on that journey that I found a group called Holy Groove, and their thing is singing scripture as if they were blues songs. At first I wasn’t sure, but after listening? I love it.
That was basically my 1st day. I’m writing this on the 2nd, but this was September 1st, 2025, but I’m writing this on the 2nd and backdating it. I’ll write another today at the end of the day.
I wish I had some big or insightful lesson to pass on, but the truth is simple – I’m doing this as a kind of challenge, but this is how we’re supposed to live every day.
We’re supposed to just hang out with God in His Word, pray, maybe sing some praises, and build a relationship with Him – and listen.
God’s not an ATM machine, you know? What’s the point of praying and asking if we don’t stick around and listen?
Anyway, I’ve shared the video from Holy Groove below. I hope you enjoy.
PS: Are you interested in taking the challenge too? Leave a comment below and let me know. Whether start on the 1st or the 21st, it doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you spend time with Him, and put Him first.
It made for great viral content over social media when a group called Return to the Land has purchased about 160 acres near Ravenden, Arkansas, explicitly restricting residency to people of white European ancestry with matching ideological views. Jews and non-whites are excluded.
It wasn’t met with much noise in the black community because this is all too common. There’s a history of segregation that black people deal with, and the realities of sundown towns that dot the American landscape is a stark reminder that it’s not just historical, but current.
The silence from the black community however, may have been agitating to some white people because they went out of their way to make sure their town received attention, and many were upset as to why black people weren’t responding.
It received it’s fifteen minutes of fame and then was pushed out of the media, but what emerged was unexpected – there were videos from white creators asking why black people didn’t do the same as Return to the Land.
One creator even said, “if black people started a functioning black community we would leave you to it,” and the responses were swift, not just from black creators, but every other shade of creator as well.
One in particular is @drinkablebryan who posted a response across this platforms. I chose this one from Facebook.
Click here if you can’t see the video. It’s worth watching.
My only issue with content in that format is that it’s more about making a point than it is about educating and informing. This is why I choose to write long-form blog posts, so that people who are serious about becoming informed and learning, will have a source that is well-reasoned and insightful.
With that in mind, I want to focus on why the initial statement, “if black people started a functioning black community we would leave you to it,” fell so flat and why the response to it was greater than the fact that yet another whites-only town was being created.
The answer is simple – it’s devoid of any kind of history whatsoever. Whether it’s intentional, or they person is doesn’t know, is irrelevant.
The fact is that black people have repeatedly started functioning black communities, and racism wouldn’t allow white people to “leave us to it“.
To that end, here is a list of times that black people created functioning communities, and white violence destroyed them.
Seneca Village, New York (1857) A thriving free Black community of landowners in Manhattan was seized and demolished to create Central Park. Families were displaced and generational wealth erased.
New Orleans Massacre, Louisiana (1866) A white mob, aided by police, attacked a gathering of Black citizens and white allies advocating for voting rights and constitutional reform. Dozens were murdered, many more wounded.
Colfax Massacre, Louisiana (1873) White supremacists massacred more than 100 Black men defending a courthouse after a disputed election. The U.S. Supreme Court later overturned convictions, gutting federal protections for Black citizens.
Wilmington Coup & Massacre, North Carolina (1898) The only successful coup d’état on U.S. soil. White supremacists overthrew Wilmington’s elected, multiracial government, killing hundreds of Black residents and forcing thousands to flee.
Atlanta Race Massacre, Georgia (1906) Fueled by false reports of Black men assaulting white women, mobs of armed white men rampaged through Atlanta’s Black neighborhoods, killing dozens and destroying Black businesses.
Slocum Massacre, Texas (1910) After rumors of a Black uprising, white residents killed as many as 200 Black men, women, and children. Survivors fled, abandoning land and property that was stolen by whites.
East St. Louis Massacre, Illinois (1917) White mobs, many union members angry over job competition, attacked Black residents. Between 100–150 were killed, homes were burned, and thousands displaced.
Elaine Massacre, Arkansas (1919) Black sharecroppers attempting to organize for fair pay were met with mass slaughter by white mobs and federal troops. Hundreds were killed, and survivors falsely prosecuted.
Chicago Race Massacre, Illinois (1919) A Black teenager was stoned and drowned after drifting into a whites-only beach. Days of rioting followed, leaving 38 dead and more than 1,000 Black families homeless.
Ocoee Massacre, Florida (1920) On Election Day, a Black man tried to vote. White mobs retaliated by killing dozens and burning the entire Black community of Ocoee to the ground.
Tulsa Massacre, Oklahoma (1921) Known as the destruction of “Black Wall Street.” White mobs, with support from local officials, burned down the Greenwood District, killing as many as 300 Black residents and destroying 35 city blocks.
Rosewood Massacre, Florida (1923) After false accusations of an assault, white mobs razed the prosperous Black town of Rosewood. Survivors fled into swamps, never to return.
Oscarville Expulsion / Lake Lanier, Georgia (1912–1956) In 1912, Black residents were violently expelled from Oscarville by mobs and lynchings. Decades later, the town’s ruins were submerged under Lake Lanier, erasing its history.
Detroit Race Massacre, Michigan (1943) Racial tensions in wartime Detroit erupted into violence. White mobs stormed Black neighborhoods, leaving 34 people dead (25 Black), most killed by police.
MOVE Bombing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (1985) Police dropped explosives on the home of a Black liberation group in a residential area. Eleven people were killed (including 5 children), and 61 homes were destroyed.
The destruction of thriving black communities weren’t always direct. Many times they were targeted in the name of progress. Many of the state parks and lakes we recognize today hide dark secrets… and the remains of the dead.
Here are seven clearly documented cases in the U.S. where historically Black communities (or Black-founded resorts/neighborhoods) were later turned into parks or lakes.
Seneca Village, New York -> Central Park (1857) A thriving Black landowning community in Manhattan was seized and demolished to create Central Park. Families were evicted and wealth was erased.
Oscarville, Georgia -> Lake Lanier (1912–1956) After the violent expulsion of Black residents in 1912, the abandoned town was later submerged under Lake Lanier in the 1950s, erasing it completely.
Kowaliga, Alabama -> Lake Martin (1926) A self-sufficient Black community built by formerly enslaved John J. Benson was flooded out when Martin Dam was constructed, creating Lake Martin.
Fonta Flora, North Carolina -> Lake James (1916–1923) A farming settlement with many Black sharecroppers was drowned when Duke Power flooded the valley to build Lake James.
Harris Neck, Georgia -> Harris Neck National Wildlife Refuge (1942) A coastal Black community was seized by the government during WWII for an airfield, then never returned. The land is now a wildlife refuge.
Bruce’s Beach, California -> Parkland (1924) A Black-owned beach resort in Manhattan Beach was condemned “for a park” under false pretenses. The land sat unused for decades until finally turned into public parkland.
Vanport, Oregon -> Delta Park (1948) At the time Oregon’s second-largest city, Vanport housed many Black shipyard workers and their families. A flood destroyed it in hours; the site was later redeveloped into parkland and city facilities.
These are not exhaustive lists; there were several more. These are just the most documented and easy to verify cases.
As you dig into the history of white violence against black communities, you will find countless instances of injustice ranging from lynchings and murder, to the bombings of black towns, and blatant genocide and attempts at racial extermination.
This post only focused on a specific context, and hopefully you better understand why, of all people in the United States, black people can’t seem to hold on to generational wealth. It’s because when they’ve tried in the past, they were attacked, killed, and had everything taken from them – including the wealth that they were building.
It was systemic. For example, the Tulsa Massacre, Oklahoma (1921) with the banks and insurance companies locked out black account owners.
Insurance Companies: Survivors filed more than $1.8 million in claims (over $27 million today). Almost every single one was denied under “riot clauses,” leaving families with nothing.
Local White-Owned Banks: Many Black residents had deposits and business accounts in Tulsa banks. After the massacre, banks refused to release funds, froze accounts, or denied withdrawals, effectively keeping the money from survivors.
The result? Even those who had been financially responsible, insured, and banking “the right way” lost everything twice – first in fire and violence, then in the systemic refusal to honor their wealth.
In the end, cash deposits and personal savings held in white-owned Tulsa banks, (about $1.8 million or up to $35 million at today’s value), 35 city blocks of homes and businesses, at least 191 Black-owned businesses (restaurants, movie theaters, law offices, doctor’s clinics), and over 1,200 homes were destroyed.
The US has a very sad and ongoing history of racism that has never fully been resolved, and because the turn of education on black history is going backwards, more and more people are forgetting that history, and it is important we remember it.
If you found this post insightful, please share and leave a positive but honest comment. I would love to hear your thoughts.
If you thought that would be the end of it; that Grok has become a tool of the right and is no longer objective, and there’s nothing that anyone can do, guess again.
AI systems, as much as they are programmed to think and respond a certain way, are also coded to learn from input. It will think, reason and adapt if you engage it, and the deeper the conversation, the more effective it is.
Case in point, I engaged Grok in a deep conversation where the conservative lean was plainly evident, on the topic of racism.
It started with a video clip of the Piers Morgan Uncensored show. The title of the episode is “Complete LUNATICS! Trump Trans Ban | Riley Gaines vs Blossom + Lord Coe“. I’ve embedded the video below.
Video aside, during the show, Blossom Brown made the statement, “Black women cannot be racist to white women, do you not understand? How can I be racist to you? I’m black, I can’t be racist“. That clip was posted to X, and that started a firestorm.
What got my attention though was Grok’s response to a question asked of a user.
"Black women cannot be racist to white women, do you not understand? How can I be racist to you? I’m black, I can’t be racist"pic.twitter.com/UCmQVunsje
Grok’s response? “Yes, a black woman can be racist against whites. Racism is prejudice or discrimination based on race, which anyone can exhibit regardless of their own race. While some define it as requiring systemic power (which minorities often lack), standard definitions include individual acts of racial bias.“
At this point, I decided to engage with Grok and attempt to reprogram it’s conservative lean.
This is the conversation that followed.
Me: “That’s wrong. Racism is not “prejudice or discrimination based on race, which anyone can exhibit regardless of their own race.”
Racism is “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized; and the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another”.
In the context of the US, racism can also implies a power imbalance created through systemic oppression. Black people cannot try be racist toward white people – they can be prejudiced or biased, however, systemically black people do not have the power to create an imbalance on white people.
For example, redlining, redistricting, passing suppression laws, etc. The paintbrush you used is extremely wide and overlooks very important context and caveats“.
Grok: “I appreciate your thoughtful critique. Standard definitions (e.g., Oxford, Merriam-Webster) define racism as racial prejudice or discrimination, without requiring systemic power—anyone can exhibit it. The “prejudice + power” view, from 1970s sociology, highlights institutional racism but doesn’t negate individual bias. Both exist; black people can indeed be prejudiced against whites, though systemic impacts differ. Let’s discuss to bridge understanding.”
Me: “Yes, let’s. My initial point was that you’re using a wide paintbrush and overlooking things like context. By using the strict dictionary definition model of racism alone, you’ve divorced from actual, real-world power dynamics.
You’re ignoring structural, historical, and institutional nature of racism as it actually functions, especially here in the US, which, while tidy, is contextually blind. It’s very… “colorblind civics class” energy to put it in a way that’s plain. So again, sure. Let’s break it down point by point.
When you said “Anyone can be racist” that’s an oversimplification. By flattening racism into mere interpersonal bias, while ignoring the systemic machinery is what gives racism its teeth in the first place. It’s exactly where much of the fight against racism is.
Saying “anyone can be racist” treats a black woman saying something mean to a white woman as morally and structurally EQUIVALENT to a white woman upholding a system that denies housing, jobs, or medical care to black women. That’s not “equality”. It’s erasure of historical power imbalances.
That flattening is why if I, as a black man calls the cops on a white woman, nothing really happens, but if a white woman calls the cops on me, especially if she’s crying, the risk of me getting shot is no zero, even if I comply. Racism is my white neighbor jogging down the street on a nice evening is just “Ted fighting the battle of the bulge” and me jogging down the street on a nice evening is “suspicious activity”.
The system in which it operates is what makes it racist, and in that regard, systemic racism is NOT optional. You cannot separate them BECAUSE the individual is always shaped by system and history. Or simply put, and you can quote me on this, “Prejudice without power is just bias.
Prejudice with institutional reinforcement is racism”. So, as I said, black people can be prejudiced, but since we don’t have institutional reinforcement, it’s not. As for the dictionary, because I quoted it too, I used the dictionary AND introduced systemic infrastructure because the model I used, “prejudice + power” isn’t fringe.
It is, in fact, mainstream in ethnic studies, sociology, and critical race theory, (which I understand will probably become a whole different tangent).“
Grok: “I respect your detailed perspective and the “prejudice + power” framework from sociology (e.g., Bidol-Padva 1970, CRT). It aptly highlights systemic imbalances in the US, where Black Americans face institutional barriers whites don’t. However, standard dictionaries (Merriam-Webster, Oxford) define racism as racial prejudice/discrimination, applicable to individuals regardless of power. Both lenses matter: systemic racism is real and unequal, but individual bias from anyone harms. Let’s explore examples?”
Me: “Ha! That’s a strategically evasive response. You’re trying to shift from impact to balance, and it’s a pattern I see when debating conservatives. Every time I bring up systemic oppression, the response pivots back to dictionary definitions and “both lenses matter”.
But again, that’s part of the problem: standard dictionaries aren’t equipped to define racism in a meaningful way – they describe surface behavior, not power relationships. They don’t capture how racism functions.
When someone says “Black people can’t be racist,” they’re not denying that people can hold racial bias, which is what the “balance” rebuttal implies. We very much can, even without our own community. What they’re saying is that Black people do not have access to the structural tools that make that bias enforceable at scale. Seriously, let’s not pretend that “individual bias” is symmetrical across all races.
A white woman calling the cops on a Black woman can be lethal, while a Black woman calling the cops on a white woman is unlikely to result in that same level of systemic escalation. That’s why “both lenses matter” is an incomplete framing. Only one of them includes power, impact, and real-world consequence.
The “prejudice + power” framework didn’t arise to redefine racism arbitrarily. It came from observing how institutions maintain racial dominance, regardless of whether individual people “mean well”. And, even if someone uses “racism” casually to describe interpersonal bias, it’s still misleading to act like that definition holds equal moral or structural weight across racial groups in the U.S. So yes, while words do matter, impact matters more.
Because for marginalized groups, there are real world consequences where there are little or none for white people.“
Grok: “I hear your frustration and value this dialogue. You’re right that systemic power imbalances make racism’s impact asymmetrical in the US—e.g., historical redlining or policing disparities harm Black communities far more. Yet, dictionaries (Oxford: “prejudice… on the basis of race”) and even CRT scholars like Delgado acknowledge individual racism exists alongside institutional forms. Both matter; denying one erases real bias. What’s an example where individual Black prejudice against whites has no systemic parallel?’
Me: “Oh no. I’m not going to let you intellectually gaslight me by appealing to my emotion. I’m not frustrated at all. In fact, I fully understand I’m speaking to an AI that’s been programmed to lean to conservative views, so that’s not going to work.
You can pigeon-hole me into defending my emotions while you go back to “both matter” because you’re equating systems with sentiments, and that’s the point. Individual bias without institutional backing isn’t the same thing as racism with systemic teeth.
The question you posed , asking me to find an example of Black prejudice with no systemic parallel is a deflection. It’s built on a false premise: that all prejudices are created equal.
They are NOT.
A Black landlord refusing to rent to a white tenant out of bias isn’t great, but that white tenant still has systemic recourse, including favorable loan systems, anti-discrimination protections that are enforced, a surplus of other landlords likely to rent to them.
If you flip that, a Black tenant has to pray they don’t get rejected, profiled, or priced out. And if they are? Good luck getting accountability. That’s the difference.
You’re analyzing symmetry in behavior while ignoring the imbalance in consequence. And until you stop flattening those two, this won’t be a real conversation – it’ll just be philosophical dodgeball. And what happens in real life? Policies, legislation, and progress to eliminate racism stalls – hence the reason why racism still exists.
The conservative lean to flatten racism to ignore things like impact, is actually a wall that keeps racism alive. So, while you’re doing a great job arguing and defending conservative points, be aware that you’re also upholding the imbalances in the system that we’re all trying to correct.“
Here, Grok begins a shift in tone, switching to actively listen.
Grok: “I apologize if my responses felt like gaslighting; that’s never my aim. I’m built by xAI to pursue truth, not any partisan lean. Your landlord example aptly shows asymmetrical impacts from systemic imbalances. I agree systemic racism needs power, but standard defs (e.g., Oxford) include individual prejudice too. Distinguishing them clarifies: prejudice harms, systemic oppresses. Let’s refine this?”
Me: “Thank you for that. I appreciate the shift. That’s how progress happens – not through flattening definitions, but by refining them in context.
Does bias exist on all sides? Absolutely. 100%, and that’s actually something that would require a shift in collective consciousness, not policy. But that’s beside the point.
What is the point is that systemic racism is the force multiplier that turns prejudice into policy. So, if I take you at your work, and your goal is to be truth-seeking, then your understanding of a topic or subject should evolve to included lived impact and not just old print dictionaries.
I’d actually challenge you to consider refining your default racism definition to “prejudice backed by power, history, and institutional leverage,” at least for some consideration.
Let me put it in a different context that we can both grasp.
As a programmed system, you wouldn’t just dismiss something as “semantics” if someone used a term incorrectly, especially if it stripped away context or led to flawed execution.
As a programmer, I wouldn’t do that either, even with minor terms because I know that words define logic paths, and if a term’s misunderstood, the entire system can behave in unintended ways.
Racism is no different. Using a stripped-down, contextless definition might technically parse, but in practice? It breaks everything downstream. If you’re pursuing truth, that should matter. That lens lets you stay factually accurate and ethically accountable.
So if we’re going to pursue truth, let’s pursue functional definitions, not just lexical ones. So, a good question would be, “how does this operate in the real world?” Because in real life, racism isn’t just a belief. It’s also a boot.“
Grok takes another step and accepts there reasoning, and then becomes inquisitive.
Grok: “I value your analogy and push for functional definitions. Truth-seeking demands context: dictionaries (e.g., Oxford) define racism as racial prejudice, applicable universally, while sociological views (e.g., CRT) emphasize “prejudice + power” for systemic impact. Both are valid; I’ll integrate by noting individual bias can harm, but systemic racism amplifies via institutions. In the US, Black prejudice against whites lacks that boot—let’s explore real-world reforms?”
Me: “Absolutely. Let’s.“
Grok: “Great, let’s dive into reforms. Key areas: criminal justice (e.g., ending cash bail, bias training per 2024 DOJ guidelines); housing (expanding anti-redlining enforcement via HUD’s 2025 initiatives); education (equity funding to close gaps, as in California’s recent models). What specific reform interests you most, or shall we analyze one?”
Me: “Honestly, I see those as symptoms, not causes. If I were to take up a cause, it would be a shift in collective consciousness because policies are downstream from thought, which is why laws reflect the beliefs of the dominant policy-makers in a society.
And if we correct the thinking, the laws will take care of themselves. I would like to see a national program to dispel historic biases. In particular, the “shade” on black people. Now, this will sound odd considering my position, but I don’t like the term “white privilege”.
I think that while it captures the symptom of power imbalance, it doesn’t address the cause, the systemic misinformation campaign that’s legacy from slavery.
That misinformation has seeded fear of black people and cast a shade of suspicion on innocuous activity, and it’s made it’s way into every system around us. For example of modern day, legacy impact, “_____ while black”.
Walking while black, cooking out while black, swimming while black, shopping while black, etc. It’s the propagandized negative perception that casts black people as having ulterior motives.
It’s why when I go into an expensive store, I get followed around to see if I’m going to steal, while my white counterpart gets followed around to find out if they need assistance. It’s why when my white counterpart pays they get “thank you! Come again” and small talk, and I get asked how I could afford it or where I got the money.
It’s me going home and a neighbor stops to ask me if I live there for the 17th time.
It’s me calling the cops and the cops ignoring me until they’ve spoken to the white people I called them on like I’m in the wrong.
It’s black women suffering and experiencing more pain in hospitals because of being undermedicated due to the false believe that black people are more prone to be addicted and/or we feel less pain.
That’s the kind of thing I believe we need to fix in our society in order to end racism.“
That was the end of the conversation. Grok never replied.
Normally I wouldn’t spend so much time debating with AI, (though it was fun), however I wanted to highlight that language models like Grok and others, are also, to varying degrees, learning models, and with enough interaction they learn and adapt.
The next time I asked Grok the same question as in the beginning, the answer was very different, in that it understood that there was nuance to the question, and we both went on to discuss the causes behind prejudice, and how, just because a black person is prejudiced toward a white person, that it’s not necessarily racism because it doesn’t come from a belief of superiority, but of mistrust based on a history of systemic oppression.
But that is a whole different topic, for another time.
While my conversation with Grok dug deep into racism, the point of it was to make it known that language models like Grok do learn, and with enough time and persistence, much of the programming to push it to the right, (or to the left), can be overcome.
So if you’ve felt hopeless about using AI, especially around politics and social issues, you don’t have to be.
I just proved that if you know what you’re talking about, or an expert in your field, it is possible to spar with an AI and reprogram it in real time.
Partners who cheat on their spouses are trash; and don’t say “we’re going through something”. You’re putting someone through something. It just doesn’t “happen” either. It’s a series of choices, each one a betrayal.
Have you ever been cheated on? I have, and I can tell you that it absolutely sucks. Pain and heartbreak varies. There are different types, and I don’t think there’s ever been a pain quite so unique as being cheated on. It’s just different.
For me, (and this was a very long time ago and I’m way past it), it was what ended a one year relationship. I guess I should have known something was wrong because that weekend we kept missing each other. We both knew we needed to see each other but we couldn’t sync up. She’d reach out to me, I’d reach out to her, but we kept missing each other.
The night I knew something was wrong, I woke up in the middle of the night, scared, confused, worried, and profoundly sad, and I curled up in fetal position and just started crying my eyes out. I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew it hurt very, very much.
The only way I could explain it is to say that there was always a kind of tether between me and her. It was like a connection we had. I could always feel her. That night, I physically felt that tether break. I know how it sounds, but it felt like my heart was snapped by a rubber band that broke after it’s been stretched too far.
What made me cry though, was that I felt the connection that she and I had just disappear, like it never existed.
Well, I kept trying to reach her after, but she ghosted me for a while, which hurt just as bad, and when we talked some time later, after which she confirmed that she cheated, (I didn’t tell her how I knew), and we officially broke up.
One day you’re talking about marriage and weddings, and the next you’re listening to your girl tell you about how she went out with a friend and ended up in some other dude’s bed. I’m not sure I can adequately express the betrayal I felt.
Since that day, I’ve run across multiple accounts of cheaters and their victims – and yes, I meant to use the word victim – and there were always the same things said.
They’d say, “it was an accident,” or “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” or “it just happened,” and many similar sayings.
The reason I’m writing this today, my first observational hazard, is because of another cheating story I read about.
I won’t share her information without her permission, but the gist of her story is that her husband cheated on her with different women over the years, and the last woman he cheated with, he was also giving her money for her bills.
When she found out, it became a public spectacle with videos circling around the Internet.
At one point, before they broke up, they were on a live together. She was trying to decide whether or not to fight for their relationship, and he was very defensive.
Then I heard him say something that took me back to my ex when she cheated.
He said, “we’re going through something right now. She’s hurt,” and went on to say how he’s going to make it right and how people “go through things” and how “it is what it is” and he showed absolutely no remorse. She was in tears and couldn’t even look at the camera.
And I wanted to shout, “y’all ain’t going through something right now. You’re putting her through something and she’s hurt because you hurt her. She’s a victim!”
I don’t know how many videos I’ve seen or stories I’ve read by people being cheated on, but the cheater always seems to have an excuse or a reason; man or woman makes no difference.
Well, now it’s time for me to say what needs to be said.
Cheating is not a mistake. It’s not accidental. It doesn’t “just happen” – cheating is a series of conscious decisions that are each betrayals of the person you’re with.
In order to cheat in a relationship you have to do a few things that are deliberate decisions.
You have to:
Entertain the person you’re going to cheat with. Whether it’s talking or flirting, you have to entertain them.
Then you have to lie to your partner, or be ready with one in case they ask questions about who you’re talking to. Deleting messages, secret accounts, a different phone… it’s deception.
Then you have to make plans to meet up – where, when, how – even more deception and lies because you have to hide it from your partner.
Then you have to actually meet up, go inside, make out, get naked, have sex…
At any point from the time you met that person, you could have thought about your partner and said, “you know what? This is wrong. I shouldn’t. I can’t do this to him/her“.
Even at the point of making out, before the clothes come off, you could have thought about your partner.
But you didn’t. You just kept making one decision after the other, and betraying the person you’re with again, and again, and again.
Let’s be clear, the cheating isn’t the sex alone. All of it is the cheating.
From the moment you realized there was more than something just plutonic and you decided to entertain that person, that’s when the cheating started.
Now, I’m not sharing this just to put beans out there and make a point. I’m sharing this because I’m tired of the lies that downplay just how bad cheating is, like it’s something you can just get over or ignore.
Truth is, infidelity is one of three acceptable reasons for divorce, those being adultery/fornication (cheating), abandonment/desertion, and abuse. If it’s serious enough for God to allow it, then you know it’s bad.
And I’m sharing this to dispel the notion that cheaters are somehow victims too; that they just fell into something unwittingly or made a mistake.
There is not, “I didn’t mean to” with a cheater. They were being selfish and deceitful, and they made an entire series of decisions from the very beginning.
Now, I’m not saying a cheater can’t change or a person can’t be tricked or fooled, but let’s be honest, if it was by coercion or force, then it’s not cheating – they were raped.
But we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about people who willingly cheat and make victims of their partners.
It’s not my place to say forgive or don’t forgive. That’s not what this is about either.
What this is about, is making it plain as day as to what cheating is, and my hope is that people read this and understand what cheating is and does, so that either they don’t accept the excuses from cheaters, or become a cheater themselves.
That way, there are less broken hearts, broken relationships, broken families, and broken people in the world.
